NEW KEEPERS OF THE WATER TOWERS:
Infernal Machine
Cool Cover; Does the Patch Match?
This will officially be my first negative review. I normally just don't cover something if I don't like it. I like to view my role here as trying to expose people to some awesome tunes they may not yet be familiar with. But this album makes me sad. If the members of Slayer decided to record a polka album, more power to them; just don't release it as the next Slayer album. Now just so you know where I am grounded, the two newest Opeth albums to me are still true to Opeth. They changed their style, but the songwriting still has the classic Mikael Akerfeldt trademarks we have always been accustomed to. New Keepers hit the stoner rock scene back in 2009 like an atom bomb with "Chronicles". This album will always be on my "elite albums" list. It is raw, supercharged heavy metal with truly inspired songwriting. The follow up album, "The Calydonian Hunt" was also very good but slightly less raw than Chronicles. I was so excited when the third album, "Cosmic Child" came out. I eagerly put on the album when I got it, and in under ten minutes felt like the band I loved had taken a big, steaming crap on my head. Not even the same category of product. "Infernal Machine" is more of the same: BORING. Just about every review you'll see on the web praises these two recent albums, calling them "Prog Metal" and "Space Rock". I love prog, and often "space rock", but I don't like this at all. It's not bad, but it captures my interest in no way, shape or form. It honestly feels like the New Keepers are trying to land a gig writing mood music for television or movies. Fine, but just change your name and get off the seething heavy metal stage. If you check out live performances of their early stuff, you'll see such ass-kicking that you'll have a hard time believing that these recent albums could be the same guys. Have alien parasites taken control of their brains?
Check out "Giant Subway Beast" from New Keepers of the Water Towers' debut album. I can't recommend this album strongly enough. So many greats.
Then, if you're the kind of person that says "let me smell" after someone tells you how much something stinks, then go ahead and click on the second video, "This Infernal War" from 2016's "Infernal Machine". Sounds good for maybe a couple of minutes, until you realize that the tune is not building up to anything; this is it. If you look closely, you'll still see the steam coming off of this pile of crap!
Here are the aliens who took over the bodies of the members of New Keepers of the Water Towers:
I got some great recommendations coming your way, just wanted to be the voice of reason on this one. Don't know how some of these websites that love the same albums as me can even sit through this whole album, never mind give it a good review. Catch you next weekend! -ULTRA
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